Thursday 14 July 2011

Telling people the news

Both of us had agreed that only a small number of people should know about the pregnancy during the first 12 weeks. I personally was over excited and wanted to tell anyone that would listen, but Holly gently reminded me of the risks that are involved in the early stages of pregnancy and that it was probably wise to keep it quiet until after our 12 week scan.

We agreed that we would tell our parents and siblings as well as both of our housemates at the time. I text my mum on the same day that we had been to the doctors, asking if they were going to be in tonight and that I was going to stop in to say hello. Unfortunately, my mother knows when something is up and knew I had news of some kind, and the "popping in" was a cover up story!

I went round after I finished up work and sat talking with mum and dad for a bit. The normal stuff, job, car, what I had been up to, all came up in conversation before there was an awkward silence. I said I had news and called my sister downstairs. My mum, dad and sister, all sat looking at me while I sat there thinking of the best way to tell them the news. I went with the classic "How do you feel about being grandparents and an auntie?". My sister squealed, "OHMYGODISHOLLYPREGNANT?!" and both my parents were happy with the news. I didn't really expect them not to be, so unsure why I felt so nervous about telling them.

"Right, parents done, housemate next... easy", I thought to myself. I went back to the flat and walked in. Had the typical bullshit talk with my housemate about nonsense, and then dropped the bombshell. I believe it went something along the lines of "Don't mention it to anyone yet, but as this affects you directly.... Holly is pregnant". He seemed to react positively, but I knew there was something playing on his mind about it.

Hello World!

This is hopefully the first of many blog posts, detailing my pregnancy experiences as a 27 year old male. The thing I want to avoid, is a blog that tells horror stories or typical bloke cliches about how they'll never see mates or go down the pub ever again once the baby arrives. Whatever happens, happens, and I'll be recording it here. Mainly for myself, but hopefully something I write will help someone else out.

My partner, Holly, became pregnant in February (2011) and is now at 22 weeks. We got engaged in June this year on a romantic week away in Crete.

The thing to note, is that none of the above was in either of our life plans, certainly not in the short time frame in which it happened. That's not to say that both of us weren't over the moon when we found out the news.

The doorbell went one early Friday morning in March, I was still in bed so ignored it, thinking that if it was someone important they would leave a card or call me. Couple of seconds later, the latter happened and my phone started buzzing. It was Holly asking if I was at home. I peeled myself out of my pit and stumbled to the door in just my undercrackers! As soon as I opened the door I could tell something was up. She came in and pretty much burst into tears straight away, after calming down a bit, she told me she was pregnant.

It took a couple of seconds for the news to sink in and once it did I could feel the harsh thud of my heart, which at this point, felt as if it was about to burst out my chest. I told Holly that everything would be ok, and we'd "sort it out". On reflection, probably not the best thing to say, but one of those reassuring things that seems to come out of my mouth at difficult times!

Holly had booked a doctors appointment for that day to make sure that she was actually pregnant. When we got down to the doctors they told us that if Holly had already done 2 pregnancy tests, that had come back positive, she would definitely be pregnant and there were no further tests that they would do there. We spoke through the options with the doctor and decided that we needed to have a talk about stuff before we rushed into anything.

I was working from home that day, so we went back to the flat and sat in my lounge, it felt strangely awkward between us, as I don't think either of us knew what the other wanted to do, and didn't know how to start the conversation. I think I broke first (probably with an awkward "soooo..."!) and we weighing out the pros and cons. From the start there didn't seem to be any major cons, we both agreed that we were old enough and mature enough to take on the responsibility, and that we were both financially secure enough for money not to be too much of a problem.

We went back to the doctors that afternoon and let her know that we had decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. More or less straight away, Holly was given a box of pills that looked like earthy turds! I found out later that these were Folic acid, and are very important for the baby during early stages of development.

After finishing up with the doctor, we headed back to my place. Still a bit dazed by what had just happened.

It took a couple of days for it to fully sink in that I was going to be a dad in 9 months time, but at no point was there any regret for the decision we had made.